Day 22: Convenience

Are all friendships just for the sake of convenience?

Are they meant to last a day, a month, a semester, an internship, college or a lifetime?

You go to college together, work on a project together, sit late at nights discussing matters of meaning and life, visit monuments, discover music, live together, share meat and mead and life lessons.

And then what?

You move to different places. 

You don't take the same classes anymore.

You discover different hobbies.

You visit places without each other.

You get on with life.

You find new friends.

It's a bleak realization.

And I sincerely hope it isn't true.

Day 21: Flow

"When you can't really control what you're doing, then just go with the flow, and you might just like it"

Our lives are like water, governed by winds and the will of gods, creating eddies and currents, guiding us, making us step away, crashing against some shores multiple times, lovingly caressing the goal only to be taken away from it, flowing through the highest highs and lowest lows, storms rising and waves lapping.

Our lives are so malleable, shaped by multiple factors; some which we can control, some which are completely out of our hands. Every year, I look back at what I did and realize that I end up doing many things which I wouldn't have deemed possible, many I really wanted to do, many I never would have wished on anyone. 

All you can do, sometimes, is to just go with the flow and enjoy the ride as much as you can.

Day 20: Sometimes

Sometimes, all you need is some food, packed with preservatives, ready in two minutes, delicious like a hot pakora in the rains, eaten off paper plates and makeshift bowls.

Sometimes, all you need is a place to sit, unswept and messy, surrounded by bags and moving boxes, comforters and old blankets serving as the carpet.

Sometimes, all you need is music, old and melodious, the songs of your childhood, the songs you had memorized without ever knowing their meaning, haunting you and mesmerizing you by their deep meaning.

Sometimes, all you need are friends, sharing the food with you, pulling your leg, laughing with you and at you, loving you, giving you joy, and making sure that this new place you've come to welcomes you, and making it your home.

Day 19: Tunnel

It is like going through a tunnel. You never know what awaits you at the end or whether there  is an end at all. All you can do is keep going, hoping that the tunnel leads you to a better place, hoping that the darkness will lift someday, hoping that your suffering has paid off.

You keep going, though.

There are patches of sunlight it in the tunnel. You dance around them, hoping against hope that the sunlight you see is the end of the road. You cling on to these patches once you realize they're over. It may take time, but you realize that it was just a patch, promised field full of light is not there yet and you learn to move on.

You have to climb up, struggling to continue on the steep hills. You have to roll down, exhilarating in the adrenaline of running downhill. You break down, crushed by the journey, finding it very difficult to find any kind of solace in the darkness around you. You get excited, happy and jump with joy at the smallest glimmer of possibility.

You've heard of other people who've been through this tunnel. But their experiences have all been varied.

You've heard of those who were out of the tunnel in less than five minutes, a certain certainty enveloping them their entire life.

You've also heard of those who've been through the tunnel countless times. Each patch of sunlight making them think that they've reached the end, only to find themselves back inside the tunnel.

But they've all said one thing.
That it is worth it.
That there is nothing like it in this world.
That you're going to get there someday.
And when you do, it is going to be beautiful.

And that tunnel, my friend, is love.

Day 18: Plans

I loved plans.
I loved how everything was carefully laid out.
I loved how they fit like pieces of a puzzle.
I loved how they sense.
I loved how there was no uncertainty involved.
I loved how I would know exactly what I would be doing.

Then these plans failed.
And guess what?

It all worked out anyway!

And now, I don't plan any more.

I like not knowing things.
I like the sense of adventure.
I like the high it gives you.
I like how open minded it makes me.
I like how I can have fun, without worrying about having fun for months in preparation.
I like uncertainty. Heck, I embrace uncertainty!